Thursday, February 21, 2008

In Contemplation of My Upcoming Birthday

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the speed at which my life is propelling forward. In the middle of the afternoon when I'm whiped out from watching the kids it seems to be dragging, not propelling... anyway, back to my point. I will be 29 soon. Very soon, and I keep forgeting how old I am. I keep thinking I'm 27. The fact that this will be the last year in my 20's is sobering. I can't relate to being in my 30's and frankly, I don't really want to. I'm starting to see those little lines around my eyes and forehead. I find myself spending long minutes at drug stores staring at the wide aray of wrinkle creams and wonder salves. I'm overwhelmed,so I rarely actually buy anything and then feel guilty I'm not using enough of "it".
What I really mean to write about however is the heavy sense I feel to make this year important, stand out, and make up for all the directionlessness that I've faced this past decade. I need to enter my 30's on the right foot, feeling that I did what I could in my 20's and I have at least made an effort to really carve out something for myself.
My problem is I'm such a dreamer. This trait is adorable in a child, but downright confusing in an adult looking for a career. I want to be a Sea World whale trainer. I want to be a travel agent, but only the kind that actually gets to travel and check out the new destinations. I want to work in an AIDS orphanage in Africa ( as far as I can tell, I have no excuse for not doing this one). I want to be a cake decorator for Charm City Cakes. I want to have my own sea creatures kids clothes company. (I'm just learning to sew). I want to be a children's book author.
Regular careers I find downright boring. I have a deep sense that I need to do something big, which only adds to my dilema. Caleb has grandiose dreams and maybe that's where I get it from. Or maybe it's just that I feel that I've taken so freakin' long to figure things out that it had better be good.
So what am I doing to achieve at least one of these goals?
I am writing childen's stories while the kids that I watch take naps. So far I have "The Crabby Coconut Crab" and "Oh, Ferrydiddle Doodle". I also have "The Discovery of Starhoffs and the First of the Adventures of Thor" unfinished since 2005.
The plan is to write at least two stories a week and eventually publish the best ones. My heros are Shel Silversteen and Dr. Seus - though I'm not writing anything that rhymes. With so many of my friends having kids and the many years my family ( including Caleb) have encourged me to write I'm finally doing it. Nothing fancy or serious. Just silly stories that let me have fun and still be creative. However, I want to rock at this. I want my books to be read by kids everywhere. I have resources to get my books illustrated and I can always begin by self publishing.
So, this 29th year I'm tossing caution, laziness, and uncommitedness to the wind. I want to have a pile of delightful, silly books by my side and be on my way to touching little kids hearts and funny bones everywhere.


Arianna E. said...

I miss you!

jonie broecker said...

Marci, go for it! I think you should give it your all. Regrets are no fun. Plus, it might feel good to have a change of focus in your 29th know, you may go out of your 20s with a bang! Fear should not be what makes our decision or indecision so listen to your heart and know that God is working in your life always. Your in my prayers. Love to you.

Beth said...

Send me stories and I'll try them out on Ana!

Emily said...

I am the same way about having a million careers in the works! I can't wait to read your books!

Lauren Day said...

I love this idea Marci! You will rock at it!