Wednesday, Day 7

The day flew by yesterday. I had a great quiet time on the water tank on the hill overlooking Hogar. It's just so beautiful around here, you can't help but praise God. Afterward I had a conversational language lesson with Rafael, one of the university students. I think we're going to meet regularly. I'm not much help with grammatical things, but I can talk. He's taking classes in Tuxtla.

It's been pretty laid back here in the mornings since most of the kids are at school. The kids arrive back around 1pm and lunch is at 2pm. I went to town after lunch to see Johanna's (the secretary at Hogar) home. She was so happy to introduce me to her mom, little sisters and brother. We had a really enjoyable time together, though she frequently makes fun of my lack of Spanish and makes me say ridiculous things.

Since it was Wednesday, it was art class day, so I hurried back to Hogar and began preparing for the onslaught of wild children and preparing my lesson. Upon popular request we did painting. I had them paint a happy memory, something specific that they would hopefully put some thought into. I wanted them to have something cheerful for their walls that would remind them, on a rainy, sad day, of better times. It was a moderately successful class. I had about 26 students in a pretty small room. Most painted sunny days with a house and a few trees. Some put a little more thought into it and had specific people in the picture and more detail. One little boy's painting looks like a young Rothko. The class was loud and kind of crazy. But I had some help cleaning up this time and I think they had fun. That's the most important thing for me. The littlest ones were tearing through the paper, they we painting so fast. I've been thinking lately that it would be nice to give the older students a chance to make work too. The classes are open to all ages, but it's so loud and overwhelming, I don't blame them for staying away. I might just have the art room open with some supplies at hand a few mornings a week. I could put on some music and just make it relaxed and available.

Tuesday, Day 6

Tuesday was a totally weird day. A beautiful, mostly sunny, warm for a while strange day. I realized as I was organizing my room that I was missing two of my tee shirts. At first I thought maybe I was just crazy and hadn't brought them, but then I realized I had and that someone must have taken them. Our room is usually locked unless we're in the building, so that someone must have been pretty slick. I felt so disappointed that one of the girls would steal. I really want to think the best of everyone here. I told a couple of older girls and Tia Ismelda, the chaperon in our dorm about the situation. She grabbed the director Tia Arde and together they went through all of the girls' things. Both of my shirts were found. I know the girl who possibly took them; she's been wanting to hang out with me lately. I bought her a hot water wand for bucket baths yesterday. After lunch, I talked to her and told her that my shirts had gone missing and we found them in her drawer. I let her know that this made me sad, but didn't change the fact that I like her a lot and want to be her friend. I also told her she could still get the hot water wand. She denied taking the shirts, and said she was sad that someone had taken them, but was happy to still be my friend. We parted amiably. I now store my clothes in a locked bin with other valuables in our room (which is also locked).

After that I was walking along the path to the main cabana and passed two of the teen boys, Kyla and a dead sheep. The sheep had just been mauled by one of the dogs. It's head was all torn up. This was sheep pregnant with twins. I felt her stomach and knew the lambs were still alive. I asked the boys if it would be possible to cut the lambs out and save them and I thought they said yes. I felt really upset. I'm kind of a city girl and haven't seen a lot of this kind of thing. I was actually tearing up. It made me feel like a wuss. Meanwhile, they proceeded to hang her from a tree, which was such an awkward job since she was really heavy, the tree was small and these kids not very burly. A couple of times the sheep fell. They were grabbing her around the middle and it was a messy job. When they finally got her hanging upside down they bled her. I had the sinking feeling that the time had passed to save the lambs. The boys seemed in no hurry to cut into her.

They started by skinning her with their machetes. They were surprisingly adept at this and she started to look like hanging meat rather than a sheep in a matter of minutes. When one of the boys put his hand into her stomach, I had to look away because I felt nauseous. Apparently the lambs were too young to save anyway. I didn't stay around for the whole event, but I had an idea what we would have for dinner.

After lunch I saw two of the boys attempting to chop through the sheep's sternum which was just laying on the cement sink area where they usually wash clothes. After some unsuccessful hacking and slashing, one of them pulled out an ax. Once again I didn't stay to watch the whole event, but you get the picture. And yes, we did have lamb tacos for dinner.

I spent some of the afternoon with one of the older boys, William. Really, he's not a boy but a young man. He's 18 or 19, I think. He didn't get into university this round and he's pretty down about that. There are many things he's skilled at and he would like to study the arts or physical education. I think he would be a great P.E. teacher or coach. He's the captain of the soccer team at Hogar, and the kid's really respect him. He has leadership skills. And he loves to draw. Anyway, he's been pretty depressed. I think the director of Hogar suggested to him that he try something else besides university, which is not very encouraging, but I'm sure he meant well. Hopefully, William will try to retake the university exam again and not give up. I really wish I spoke more Spanish, because I feel like my role here is also to encourage the kids. I smile as much as possible, talk to them individually, am very affectionate toward them and try to make myself available to them. Right now, this is all I can do. Some day I hope to have the right words to tell them how special they are, that they're one of a kind, and that they can achieve their dreams.

A Donation Gone Wrong

Art Class Craziness

Suleyma and Kyla Enjoying a Treat

Day 5

Yesterday I woke up with the realization that it was Monday and my first art class would be in the evening. I finalized my shopping list and together with Kyla and one of the older girls, Suleyma, we headed into town.

The market in Coita is so colorful and narrow. Little winding aisles with wooden tables full of goods - fresh cut flowers, vegetables, toys, clothing, and yesterday, a live turkey in a bag with its head poking out. Totally weird.

So I found everything I was looking for; more cups and spoons for the dining room in Hogar (there's never enough for everyone), a pot to boil water in for me and my own spoon. I also bought fruits and veggies and coffee. Coffee has been hard to go without. I felt kind of weak giving in to my addiction, but I do think I'll enjoy the mornings more now. I got a few art supplies as well.

The three of us girls had a great afternoon buying things and eating. We had liquidos - a flavored milk, and little cinnamon pastries. Later we had tacos al pastor and sodas. We walked back to Hogar, feeling like it had been a real treat to go into town.

I spent the next hour and a half preparing for my class. I chose a project that I thought could work with all ages and would hopefully be something they could hang in their dorms. We have a ton of colored tissue paper so I chose stained glass as our first project. I quickly threw together an example, copied my little intro speech and instructions in Spanish from google translate, and set the room up. I wasn't sure how many kids would show. Apparently my class is obligatory for the elementary age kids. At first I only had 3 girls, but soon enough the class was filled. I think about 20 kids were there. What a mess they made! The tables were covered in paper and glue and the floors were scattered with all kind of craziness. I think it was a success. Some kids were into it more than others but that's to be expected. The littlest ones went to town, tearing into the paper and covering everything with glue. At the end, most had at least followed the idea of making stained glass windows and the place looked like a tornado had torn through there. I spent the next 2 hours cleaning up and trying to get the white plastic tables to be white again rather than multicolored. I didn't know that tissue paper stained that much.

I teach another class on Wednesday and now at least I have an idea of who might attend my class and what they are capable of. The littlest kids did surprisingly well and actually required less help and direction than the bigger kids. Maybe we'll paint, since that seems to be what most of them are excited about.

I talked to one of the directors, Tia Arde about wanting to raise funds to completely redo the bathroom in the little boys' dorm. We had about a 20 minute conversation about their dorm, the possibility of moving them to another dorm, how expensive the maintenance and utilities are at Hogar, and the fact that the little boys' entire dorm needs to be redone. Their ceiling is leaking and the paint is peeling off the walls. Mind you, this whole conversation was in Spanish, so I think I got about 40% of the conversation, just enough to understand the gist of in, but few of the specifics. However, she seemed to be in support of this fund drive for the bathroom and asked if maybe I would be interested in taking on the whole building. I will raise as much as I possibly can, that much is certain. If we can do the whole building then I would call it a miracle. There is a bit of a time crunch since new little boys are coming in June. Today I'm going to work on setting up the infrastructure to raise support for the project. I think it will primarily be through this blog.

Day 4

I really miss Caleb. Our Skype wasn't working yesterday and our phones ran out of credit after only a five minute conversation. There is so much I want to share with him.

I spent most of yesterday playing with Octavio the little boy I bonded with the day before. We played a made up card game with a few superhero cards he had. We climbed into a club house on the monkey bars and scaled a tree. I gave him lots of piggy back rides and pretended to be a horse. He loved it so much. I was also invited by one of the boys, Alex, to partake in his family lunch. On Sundays, the kids who have families sometimes get visitors. I found out that Octavio is Alex's cousin and he has 9 brothers and sisters. His mom's in a wheelchair. Octavio asked me yesterday if I would adopt him. He's six years old.

I gave piggy back rides to the little boys until I was filthy and so tired. They never have an adult play with them like that. They loved it and had I had the energy, I don't think they would have tired of it for hours.

I got a little crazy yesterday. It was a really cold, drizzly day. Probably mid 50's. Octavio was running around in shorts and a tee shirt, so I made him go back to his dorm and we found some sweaters for him. When I was in his dorm, I checked the bathroom again, and it was even worse than before. Then I saw Octavio tear a page out of a book to blow his nose, because there wasn't even toilet paper in their bathroom. I just got so infuriated. I marched back to my dorm, found one of the older girls, told asked her if she could help me and told her the little boy's bathroom was filthy, had no soap or t.p. and that it was unfit for animals. She went and talked to another of the girls in charge of the little ones. I grabbed some t.p. from my room and a wet wipe, went back outside and made Octavio blow his nose, and wiped his dirty little face and hands. He had to go to the bathroom so I urged him to use the one for the older boys in the main building. He didn't seem to want to, but I said it was ok. He came out crying because an older boy scolded him for being in there. I explained that it was my fault and consoled little buddy. One of the girls (I'm still learning names) that helps with the boys came to talk to me about the bathroom. I think she was saying that the little boys don't keep it clean and that it was difficult without any running water. I tried to explain that I understood that it wasn't her fault specifically and that it was Hogar's fault for having the little ones in a place with such a decrepit bathroom, but that it was necessary to keep it clean or the kids would get sick.

The amazing thing is that by mid afternoon as I went back to the little boys quarters, that same girl having some help from one of the 11 year old boys, had cleaned the whole place. Upon first entering their dorm it now smelled clean, not like urine. She even had me check the bathroom to see if I approved. I thanked her profusely, told her she was an angel and gave her a big hug. There was some ( a little) t.p. and soap. Better than nothing.

So here's what I propose for my time here. I want to raise the funds to redo the little boys bathroom completely. I also want to raise money for more toys and books for them. If anyone is interested, Caleb and I have a Paypal account and we can accept donations that way. I want to check with the director of Hogar first to see what the protocol is and what the estimated cost will be. However, I feel really strongly about this. These little boys deserve better.

Also, while I'm at it, let me put this out there: Does anyone know of a yarn company or a store that would be interested in donating a whole heck of a lot of fun, soft yarn to the kids here? They love knitting and crocheting, and the yarn I brought lasted about 2 days at the most.

I spent some time in the Chapel on the grounds yesterday. I find myself talking a lot to God here and thinking a lot about how much it breaks His heart to see his children suffer too. I'm rereading John and just being reminded of the fact that Jesus has conquered the evil in this world and our hope is in Him. I find this tremendously comforting. Isaiah 58:7, 9-11 talkes about true fasting. Of our responsibility it says,

" Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-

when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?"

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy you in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. "

This to me is hope.